Well here we go again, another issue arises with my mom. I pretty much posted what I wanted to say here, on my sisters comment section LMAO.
Its always scary to hear someone talk about taking their own lives. It's even worse to hear that it might even be your fault, if not you being part of the issue. At least that's the story I heard from my aunt with that dramatic call she gave me about 3 or 4 days ago when she was calling about my mother. my aunt made it seem like it was all our faults, just for not talking to her, when it ended up being so much more than that.
I try, I try so hard sometimes to write a letter to my mom, to call her, to keep up the conversation when she talks about absolutely nothing that makes sense. But I have trouble getting things finished, which is partly from my ADD I believe...It's start to trouble me actually, I'm trying so hard to complete any little thing, or focus on something, but I always seem to get distracted...I haven't been diagnosed with ADD yet, but what the hell else could it be? I've noticed that it's actually getting worse, and I'm starting to get less focused on things. For instance, I've managed to completely distract myself to what this post was supposed to be FOR! lol.
n e wayz, there my mom is suffering, and there are options, bring her back here, hoping that she will accept the fact that she needs to move on concerning my dad, and hoping that she will be able to live by herself. Or I think, getting her another room in Bolivia, where I would think she would have to do the same...So it's confusing to me, I know she wants to see us, I know that I want to see her especially, but God forbid I see her like she was 5 years ago. I don't want to meet that same person, I want to help her get treated, and help her cope with this, instead of fighting or worrying what type of mood she will be in. I've had enough of that for my whole life, and my God was I lucky to have the sisters and father that I had to help me.
Well I hope she decides to make herself better, admit she has a problem, and fix it. No matter where she is. I only hope....
2 comments:
maybe after num gets insurance you can talk to a dr about the add. it can't hurt right! i feel guilty now because maybe we could of done something a long time ago. i hope you understand that i was only trying to protect you. i am sure that you have the book and street smarts to do anything you want- and it wouldn't be fair to be held back because of something that is common and can be fixed! :) get er done.
I think that mom is at the end of her rope...and that will be the same motivation she will have to want to get better...I want to be there for her more then ever...with my new understanding about her condition and things that have happened....I think we will play a major role in her recovery...we just have to pull togetheor through the hard times.
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