I forgot to post for my 2nd anniversary of my blog! (thank God i'm not going out with it or might have been yelled at lol) n e wayz. Its already the 20th of November. But really how many times can one say "time flies" but its so true, and the thing that makes it go by so fast is when things change along with it. I have been giving myself therapy lately, I've almost had myself slip into complete sadness, just thinking about everything. Just the other day though, I was thinking to myself, what do I have to be depressed about? I've got everything I've ever wanted, a beautiful home to share with my family, in a beautiful neighborhood, everyone in my family is alive and healthy, I've got so many people that love me and support me, but damn what is missing? Why is it that everyday I come home from school or work and feel so unhappy? How come I can't seem to enjoy myself anymore when I'm really supposed to. Why do I still feel an empty hole in my life when not too long ago I was missing even more. Is it true that one can never feel completely happy? If that's so, then why am I wasting my time to find it?
I feel this urge to do something, something I've never done before with my life, but I have no idea what it is. I have this feeling that time is running out, or like something drastic will happen soon so I need to prepare for it...Maybe I'm just crazy, but I've always been weird about things going TOO well. And from reading Caroline's blog she feels the same way... God forbid life takes a 360 and devours everything that makes us happy now...I only pray that whatever it is I'm missing from my life, whatever it is that makes me so unhappy, goes away, because I truly miss enjoying life to the fullest. Maybe I should do more excercise, its supposed to make you more happier lol. Or maybe I should light a blunt and feel happy that way lol j/k. fuck maybe I really do need to get out more, who knows, fuck, w/e.
Today was Kayla's B-day! I really hope she liked my present hehe, I know she loved the gameboy omg. Vanessa since I know your reading this, just know that Kayla will one day be someone special, she is so intelligent I swear, I'm so glad that our whole family has created so many healthy babies, its like God has blessed us with a healthy family for such a long time. We have minor health issues but it seems like we are so healthy and strong, I'm glad we are still together. and now I"m rambling when I should be sleeping, so I'm going to lay my fat ass on my bed and dream of good things to come, dream of a world so peaceful, and then wake up and say "fuck school" lol, nite everyone, happy rest of November :D
