Strength

Another morning rolls by. A steady noise from the computer carries my thoughts in order. The darkness of my room calms my mind and puts it into a trance. I feel tired though a full night of sleep was completed. Sometimes getting ready for work is a hassle, as if every nerve, every joint or muscle in my body tells me to stop. But sometimes its those days that don't require me to fight myself constantly, I want to stop, it feels as if I can't carry myself any further and then I realize why I need to do this. I need to work hard to get where I have to be, even though that is still uncertain. I read my baby's blog and I realize she suffers along with me, every night I sacrifice another day just to hope to gain another one in return in the future. I wish I could tell you how hard it is to not have the woman you love so far from you. I see so many married people here, that take each other for granted, I wish I was able to do that. If I could just come home to her every night life would be so much better, but what can I do?...Maybe God made it this way to help me see what it is this world is missing when two people love each other. Divorce is so easily considered these days, maybe its because our way of life has changed drastically, our lifestyles don't allow for true love...How can you have time to truly love each other when both are working so hard to focus on the future...But you can't always focus on the future I've learned, what about the present? I come home, I try to rest for another day of work, and God knows I don't feel like talking to anyone, or hanging out all night, but I can't let her slip by, I can't let her go, I must make her part of my day or my day is not complete. 3 years of being together is coming by in 2 months. And every year I feel rejuvenated because one of these months I will see her soon, she will give me strength once again. I could careless what happens to me, and that comes from seeing the world as I have seen it, so much more people need more help than I do. Sigh, another sacrifice is bestowed upon me, I must end this writing now, I must force my mind to close even though thoughts still linger, and my hand itches to tell it to you all. Before I go though, one of the main things I've learned, is that to love them you must also respect them, because when the lack of respect for one another sets in, another big fight occurs, more pain and fuel is added to the fights each time, so when do you go when you think all love is over? When you lack respect for one another, because that is something that you can never get back.
I must go now to work, I will probably be late, but I could careless, good bye for now, don't forget what day it is today...JMT