A Long Last day it must be

I look at the date today and I thank God another month is about to move on. January seemed like such a long month and then all of a sudden everything seems like its moving too fast. In about a week I have to get my first practice test for a GED. And I keep telling myself I can't believe I'm actually doing this. After all those years in high school, of listening to teachers, of dreading waking up every single morning just to get an education, it never seemed right to me. I always said that I should have invented something that would automatically implant a chip into our heads therefore creating education automatically lol.

Today I want to write about how much I've learned in this month alone. I think I've learned so many things in these long 31 days so far. Especially about me. I remember just last month I didn't really know how to drive, I never thought I was going to get anywhere in life because I was doing nothing in high school, I was working almost every single day, I felt sick almost every week and I never knew why. It was a scary month to be in, that's for sure, its so weird how even though calenders are just numbers and days that we have made up as humans, they seem to change along with everything we are doing. I have many things to look forward to these next few months. Everytime I think about what's ahead I can't help but to get a little nervous. Adult life is nothing but scary, even though not many people want to admit it or they just have grown num to it. There are so many people in this world, great thinkers, fools, mental people, people who don't talk at all, so many different kinds of brain power just roaming the streets. And everyone has their own story, I bet anyone could write their own book and it would be such an extraordinary story about what they have been through just to get to that point.
This month I've just realized that I'm not a kid anymore, I guess it just hit me. I'm right in the middle right now, the worst place to be in, horrible confusing place it is, full of mistakes, drama, action, changes, not to mention unexpected changes, and finally hard work. All of those things mold into what is the bridge between childhood and adulthood. This part of life is what has made people and broken many people. I just hope that will all that I've learned in life, and will people's help that I won't let my confusion get to me or my mistakes.

Well this week has certainly been the make the toilet suffer week lol. My uncle just recently, well most likely got a stomach virus, that he might have gotten from eaten undercooked lamb from one of his co-workers a few days ago. And he's on his way to the hospital, because God knows he's surviving on his bad kidneys and a stomach virus could mess him up. I've never seen my dad so worried in his life. I've also been feeling my stomach again this week. I know I've had stomach viruses before, so I know its not that. These past couple of days it has been better though thankfully. This month and last month I've been feeling so ill with my stomach, and I'm so scared that its something worse than what I know to be a virus. And I haven't told my dad until Sunday because I didn't want to worry him cuz i know he has no insurance for me. But last month, I remember getting two stomach viruses in a one week span, afterwards my stomach was never the same. It went from bad to worse this month. Last week before Isabelle's party, I couldn't eat a thing. And it was so much different than a stomach virus. With a stomach virus you throw up, with what I have you feel sick all day and you never feel better, I ate two spoonfuls of soup and I felt full, then I felt hungry again in 5 mins and tried to eat the rest but then I felt like i was going to be sick. I couldn't explain it I had no idea what it was but thankfully alot of you guys might know what it is. I just feel so nervous about that, its scary not to know what the fuck is wrong with you, when you know ur body is changing and you can't do anything about it until the problem gets so bad its almost too late. That's why insurance is so important in this country, but I guess I just have to wait, my dad is busy and can't really do anything. And its not like the doctor will notice an immediate problem until my symptoms start acting up again.

So welcome February, don't let us down, don't let us too high up and then bring up all the way down, let's pray for a great month, till next month. J.M.T.