Cruel as it is

So the weekend passes, it was a short one, but the feelings are not short lived. Insomnia has obviously taken me over, whether I wanted it to or not. So many thoughts going at once, no where to stop, no where to settle down and calm them. The thought that saddens me the most, is the fact that you will be more distant then I want you to be. Life is such a cycle, a cycle of happiness, pain, loneliness, excitement, and sometimes all of them at once. It is cruel to those that experience one of the cycles to long, it is so cruel, I ask myself how or why it must be this way every single day of my life. I found true love in you baby, I found that cycle of happiness all in you. But as I have learned so many times in the past, I must not be naive as to what the future can bring, I must expect anything.
2005 will prove to be a strangely mixed cycle of life, and I have expected the best from to the worst, as I do every year. It hasn't hit me yet, I haven't felt the sudden punch of realization that I have to in order to really truly feel that you will be much further from me soon. But I have no regrets, I have cherished and used the time I had with you wisely. Life can take it's evil turns any second baby, but nothing will change or make me forget the way I feel for you. I look at it like this, nothing in this world is worth dying for, nothing else in this world is worth changing for, nothing in this world is worth my love except for you. I love the way you have weakened me with your eyes, I love the way you have touched me with your heart, no one else can do that to me, but you.
So of course my negative mind (my enemy since the day I learned to think) comes into place. It asks me if waiting for you is really worth it, I laugh at it, I simply smile and nod my head. You are such a special girl, I've never seen any girl as special as you, I could never think of throwing away such a gift as you. If I ever did, I would lose faith in myself, I would change for the worse.
Sure I'll miss your kisses, I'll miss holding you tightly in my arms and feeling our hearts create warmth, I'll miss those light brown eyes that seem to be a neverending weakener for me. But I know that my patience will pay off, for the first time in my life I will be patient :) Because I know that one day we will be together for so long, and I know that as I grow older with you, I will look back on this year, and I will be proud to have waited. I will be proud to know that the months of waiting, turned into years of joy, with the girl I love.
I look forward to seeing you again, until then, this weekend will replay in my mind, I love you mi amor.

To: Caramelitos (in response to your post)