Those days...

These past days I've learned so much about my own families past. Things that I would have never imagined, things that I never happened within my own family. I never opened my eyes, I never saw what my family has seen. It's as if I was waken up from a coma that lasted many years. If so many things can change in one year, I can't imagine how many things changed in my family before I was born. It feels as if there is still an untold story, a story that hasn't been brought to my attention until very recently.
I do admit, there are times where I feel out of place in my family. Everyone in my family is older than me, by about 10 years. There are times where their conversations are things that happened within are family, but I've never heard of. I'm my own generation in my family, the only teen...maybe that's why sometimes people find me to be more mature then other guys, to be more thinkitive...I find myself writing poems, playing video games, instead of joining gangs and doing drugs. I have learned so much from the more mature part of my family, but never have they taught me about my own families past. Not even my own branch of the family has. And to learn about some things now is amazing, it seems as if everything is making more sense now. They never told me about my families past because of the way it was before. Before everyone in our family lived in a house, before there was ever compettition within my own family. The time when we seemed so much closer, a time which i wasn't a part of.
So now my baby brother steps into the picture, and I sense the same kind of questions my own family faced. Should we tell him about our past? Should he know about the bad times and the good times? Or maybe he should live with his own generation, the new arrivals to the family, and they should make their own family history. I'm glad that my baby brother has his own generation to live with, kids his own age, kids he can have fun with and play with that are in his own family.
I'm glad to see my family prosper the way it has, I'm glad to see that we are still coming together after all these years, I'm glad to see everybody still happy, still living and healthy. I wouldn't be in any other family, I have so much to learn about it, so much to learn from each of them. Sure there are rumors about so many things, but that's because it's a big family, a family filled with loud mouths waiting to twist up any truth in any situation. Of course there are lots of problems, but i cant imagine a family without them.

It's so interesting to see how my family will be when I grow older...when the new generation takes over. I'll be the oldest of the new generation, to take the place of my grandma, telling everyone stories about how we all got here. How my dad and his brothers came to the United States, and started families. And here we all are now...

Only 4 branches of this family of mine. It seems...that my branch of the family has always seemed to be an outcast of some sort. It seemed as if the rest of the family kept growing financially, and here we are still struggling to keep our family intact. Still struggling to buy our own house while the rest of the family has done so. My dad worked 3 jobs, while my mother stayed home and tortured his children. And when he came home, he cooked food for us, while she sat on the couch and told him how stupid he was, and how much of an idiot he was to bring her to this country. It seemed so easy to think that our branch of the family was the only one with major problems. But of course, I was wrong, now that I look back at my past and what I've seen and tried to understand, we all had problems. I was just to much of a kid to understand anything. *sigh, well i'll stop now, or this will get too long, so until next time, good night...