Welcome to December

what a shitty end and start to a new month. well it looks as if things are going to start changing, tonight my dad found another stupid letter that my little brother's mom had written. And basically he had it, he told her to get out of our house, she protested that she wouldn't leave without my baby bro, but obviously my dad wasn't going to let her take him with her.
me, my dad, and my baby bro all went out to think about this, we had a quiet midnight snack at a restaurant, and I saw the sadness in his face, I once again saw that disgusting fucking face of betrayal on him. What in god's name has he fucking done to deserve this? I can't deal with this bullshit any longer, how many times have I seen that look of "someone stabbed me in my back"? I asked god tonight what he has done so bad, that he has to go through this. All I ever asked for is for my dad to be happy for what he has accomplished, and this is what he gets. She will never find another man like him, but she will find out too late, that day that she realizes she has made mistake is the day her life will be fucked forever, just like my mom.
So it seems that another child in our branch of the family is motherless, *sigh, what an ending to a fucked up month. FUCK THAT HOE

I don't want to care about anything for a while, this whole situation has put me in a mood that has made me care free and tired of it all. I'm not only tired physically from not sleeping at all, but I'm tired mentally of thinking of so many damn things at once. The only thing that is keeping me sane is my baby, right now she is what is holding me together, she has so many stories that make me forget about my same old stupid shit at least temporarily. It gets boring to think of bad thoughts, and everytime I think of killing that stupid hoe in my house, LOL, I think of the great days that I have seen my baby, and how much I love her. So right now I want to thank you baby, thank you for keeping me sane, (even though the crack is still active in me hehehe) I love you more than anything I've ever laid eyes on.

So N E wayz, the start of a brand new month and end of a mixed up year. 2004 sucked major monkey sack in the beginning, I kind of thought hell broke loose the beginning of this year, it seemed bad shit was happening to me and my family every 5 minutes...But next year I have at least one good thing to look forward to, and I think you know what that is...another year with caramelitos, the Pepsi Queen:)